Andy Griffiths | BOOKS | Treasure Fever!

Treasure Fever

Mr Brainfright’s important lesson #1: When you’re breathing, it’s very important not to fall out of the window.

It doesn’t take Henry McThrottle long to realise that Mr Brainfright, his new teacher at Northwest Southeast Central School, is rather unusual. His last teacher would never have fallen out of the window – twice – or taught Class 5C how to skid on banana peels.

But Henry’s got even stranger things on his mind... on a trip to Principal Greenbeard’s office, he discovers that there is buried treasure on Skull Island, which is somewhere in the school! Henry and his friends Jenny, Gretel, Newton and Jack set out to find a chest filled with gold, jewel-encrusted goblets and pieces of eight (whatever they are).

But soon their secret is out, and everyone has treasure fever. Can they find the buried treasure, beat the bully, catch the villain and save their teacher, Mr Brainfright?

The Treasure Fever! test

What is the name of Henry Mc Throttle’s crazy new teacher?
A: Mr Blooper B: Mr Bogfur C: Mr Brainfright
What does Henry discover is buried under the school?
A: lollipops B: a dead dog C: pirate treasure
What is Henry’s nervous friend, Newton Hooton, scared of?
A: nothing B: most things C: everything
The X on a treasure map stands for
A: a kiss B: where not to go C: buried treasure
Treasure Fever! is
A: a contagious disease B: the name of a band C: the title of a really funny book about bullies, crazy teachers and buried treasure

ANSWERS:
The answers to these questions – and many more – are contained between the covers of Treasure Fever! — a very funny book about bullies, crazy teachers and buried treasure.

Reviews

A rip roaring school story… you’re setting sail for child heaven. A goldmine of fun.
Daily Mail (UK)

The obvious, daft humour of Treasure Fever! is just the thing for young readers.
The Scotsman

Curses, double-crossing and an unexpected scandal make Treasure Fever! a total winner.
The Sunday Age

Treasure Fever! is something anyone who likes adventure will enjoy. This book makes me feel like it’s really happening in real life. A witty, fabulous and funny book, this is going to change someone’s life. I think it is suitable for anyone.
Felix Wilkins, Yr 3: Readings monthly catalogue, April 2008

I loved this book. I give it 8 stars. I recommend it for kids 7 to 12 years of age. It is fiction and very funny. There were no illustrations but you could easily imagine it in your head. Bryce, aged 9

I loved Treasure Fever! so much I finished it in a day. Andrew, age 10

I enjoyed Treasure Fever so much that I almost missed my lift. I was supposed to be looking out of the window for my friend Elwys, but got carried away with the book. Elwys said it must be a good read so I lent it to her. She enjoyed it too. Dulcie Groves, 85, Golden Square

The book is simple, silly fun. Silly students, sillier teachers, a silly school, and a silly situation all add up to a silly story. Pretty much what you would expect from Andy Griffiths, but without the bum jokes. I am becoming quite a fan of Andy Griffiths and there is no denying that the kids (especially boys) love him.
BookBoy

Andy Griffiths is already such a big name in children’s literature. His work continues to entertain and amuse, his most recent novel is no exception. I really enjoyed this book and kept reading sections out loud to my co-workers! For now, I’ll leave you with Mr Brainfright’s important lesson no. 1: When you’re breathing, it’s very important not to fall out the window! Robinsons Bookshop

Treasure Fever!, the first book in a series called Schooling Around, makes no attempt to be moralistic or educational. It’s simply fun; a rambling series of events that entertain from the first to last word. The action is fast-paced, with quick dialogue, short chapters and some zany characters.

The tale is told from the point of view of Henry McThrottle, a fifth-grade student whose class has a new teacher. The outrageous and nonsensical Mr Brainfright uses teaching methods as unlikely as his name. “Mr Brainfright’s important lesson No. 1: When you’re breathing, it’s very important not to fall out the window.”

It’s no accident that the truly batty characters in Treasure Fever! are adults; it’s empowering for kids to encounter seniors they can make fun of and feel superior to without fear of reprisal. It’s joyously subversive. There’s Mrs Cross, the angry disciplinarian; Principal Greenbeard, the wannabe pirate who speaks in pirate catchphrases; Mr Shush, the edgy librarian; and Mr Brainfright, whose introduction sparks a series of events that has Henry and his classmates searching the school for buried treasure.

That Henry and his friends are victorious in the end is also satisfying for young readers. The kids team up to overcome and outsmart the school bully, Fred Durkin, and the interfering teachers (who display varying degrees of insanity). It’s an adventure set in familiar territory (school), with a great sense of urgency and anticipation.

For a change, Griffiths steers clear of the scatological (poo/bum/fart stuff) but there’s plenty of nonsense, which he does well. Treasure Fever! actually shares some features of Roald Dahl’s work. For example, Mr Brainfright jumps off the page with a similar absurdity that made Dahl’s chocolate-maker, Willy Wonka, an eternal favourite (perhaps incidentally, Brainfright also wears a purple jacket.)

Griffiths is popular because his readers don’t see an ulterior motive at play in his work. His stories, including Treasure Fever!, are easy to read, entertaining and silly. Unlike some more critically acclaimed, award-winning books, reading them is not a chore for kids – it’s a LOL, LMAO pleasure. And the fun is set to continue in September with the release of the second book in this new series: Pencil of Doom.The Sydney Morning Herald

Extract

Chapter 1: Once upon a time

Once upon a time there was — and still is — a school called Northwest Southeast Central School.

Northwest Southeast Central School is located to the southeast of a town called Northwest, which is located to the northwest of a big city called Central City.

You don’t need to know where Central City is, because it’s not important. What IS important is the school. And what is even more important is that in this school there is a classroom. And even more importantly, in that classroom there is a grade five class. And most important of all, in that class of grade five students there is a student called Henry McThrottle who likes telling stories.

That’s where I come in.

That student is me.

I’m Henry McThrottle and I like telling stories.

This is my latest story. It’s about how my friends and I found a long lost buried treasure, exposed a thief and saved the best teacher we’ve ever had from losing his job... and just in case you’re wondering, it’s all true.

Every last bit.

Chapter 2: A very unusual morning

It all started one morning when our teacher, Mrs Chalkboard, was late for class.

Now you might not think that’s so unusual, but believe me, it was for Mrs Chalkboard. Because Mrs Chalkboard was NEVER late. She was usually there on the dot of 8:36 am, but that particular morning 8:36 am came and went and there was still no Mrs Chalkboard.

Not that anybody seemed to mind very much.

Clive Durkin was amusing himself by chewing up little bits of paper and flicking them at people.

Jack Japes was leaning back on his chair staring out the window.

Gretel Armstrong, the strongest girl in the school, was arm-wrestling with herself. She had to do this because nobody else would arm-wrestle with her. Jenny Friendly was cheering her on. It seemed like Gretel’s left arm was winning.

Grant Gadget was madly pushing buttons on some sort of electronic device. Grant Gadget was ALWAYS pushing buttons on some sort of electronic device.

Gina and Penny Palomino were grooming their imaginary horses. Gina and Penny were ALWAYS drawing horses.

The rest of the class were engaged in activities of more or less importance. Mostly less.

The only people who seemed at all concerned about Mrs Chalkboard’s non-arrival were the class captains, Fiona McBrain and David Worthy. David kept looking anxiously at his wristwatch and checking it against the clock on the wall. Fiona was standing at the door of the classroom and peering down the corridor. ‘Still not here!’ she said. ‘I can’t believe Mrs Chalkboard is STILL not here!’

Suddenly my best friend, Jenny Friendly, grabbed my arm. ‘Henry!’ she said. ‘Something’s wrong with Newton!’

Chapter 3: Newton Hooton

I looked across at Newton. He was clutching at his desk as if it was going to float away and he was the only thing holding it to the ground. His face was white. His eyes were shut tight. I could see that he was on the verge of a panic attack.

Now the thing you’ve got to understand about Newton Hooton is that this wasn’t particularly unusual. Newton was pretty much ALWAYS on the verge of a panic attack.

Newton, you see, was scared of, well, everything! Spiders, busy roads, heights, lightning, cotton-buds, butterflies... you name it, he was scared of it. I wasn’t sure what had made him so scared this time, all I knew was that he was more scared than I’d ever seen him.

Jenny and I got up and went over to him.

‘Newton!’ I said, putting my hand on his shoulder. ‘What’s the matter?’

Newton gulped. He blinked and stared at me with big round eyes as if he’d never seen me before.

‘M-Mrs Chalkboard!’ said Newton. ‘Sh-she’s late!’

‘It’s okay!’ said Jenny, putting her hand on Newton’s other shoulder and patting it lightly. ‘She’s just a little bit late, that’s all.’

‘B — b — but she’s never late!’ stammered Newton. ‘Wh-what if she doesn’t come? What then?’

‘Then they’ll send a substitute,’ said Jenny. ‘Everything will be fine. Her car has probably just broken down.’

‘She’s probably just been held up in traffic,’ I said.

‘Impossible,’ said Fiona, returning from her vigil at the door. ‘Mrs Chalkboard doesn’t have a car. She catches the bus.’

‘Ah, yes,’ I said. ‘Good point. Thanks for your help, Fiona.’

‘Don’t mention it,’ said Fiona, completely missing my sarcasm.

‘What if she’s been in an accident?’ said Newton.

‘I don’t think that’s likely!’ said Jenny. ‘You know how careful Mrs Chalkboard is.’

‘Even careful people have accidents,’ said Fiona. ‘That’s why they are called accidents. Some crazy driver could have hit the bus. Or, there could have been an oil spill and the bus ran off the road... or over a cliff... ’

Newton’s face was getting whiter and whiter, if that was even possible.

‘Yeah,’ said Jack, taking up where Fiona left off. ‘And what if the bus has fallen into shark-infested water... and the sharks got into the bus and all the passengers got eaten alive... and all that was left was their skeletons... and then imagine if Mrs Chalkboard’s skeleton climbed back up the cliff and hitched a ride to school and then came in the classroom and...’

‘JACK!’ said Jenny, ‘for goodness sakes, STOP IT! You’re scaring Newton to death! I’m sure Mrs Chalkboard is FINE!’

‘Then where is she?’ said Fiona, getting up and checking the corridor again. ‘She should be here by now. We’re supposed to be doing maths.’

‘So what’s the problem?’ said Clive Durkin. ‘We’re SUPPOSED to be doing maths and we’re NOT doing maths! That’s GOOD isn’t it?’

‘But I LIKE maths!’ said Fiona.

‘Me, too!’ said David Worthy.

‘I hate maths!’ said Clive. ‘You two should get your brains examined.’

‘You should GET a brain, Clive,’ said David. ‘Maybe you’d enjoy maths more.’

‘You’d better watch your mouth, Worthy,’ said Clive, ‘or else.’

‘Or else, what?’ said David.

‘Or else,’ said Clive, ‘I’ll tell my brother what you said and I can tell you now, he’s not going to like it.’

‘Tell your brother whatever you want,’ said David. ‘He doesn’t scare me.’

‘I’m going to tell him that you said that too,’ said Clive. ‘You’re going to be sorry. You’re going to be REALLY sorry! You’re going to be REALLY REALLY... ’

Newton’s eyes were almost popping out of his head.

‘Everyone,’ pleaded Jenny, ‘could you please PLEASE PLEASE stop talking about scary things. You’re upsetting Newton!’

‘He’s a cry baby,’ said Clive.

‘And you’ve got a big mouth!’ I said.

‘I’m going to tell my brother you said that,’ said Clive. ‘And I can tell you now, he’s not going to like it.’

‘Is there a single thing in the world your brother DOES like?’ said Jenny.

‘Yeah,’ said Clive. ‘Beating people up. He REALLY likes that. My brother’s really tough. He could beat up everyone in this whole class if he wanted.’

Newton yelped. The thought of Clive’s brother, Fred Durkin, beating up the whole class was clearly too much for him.